Project Nodajo

As a sort of back handed welcome to the newest movie in the Twilight series, I took a look at things from the first movie that either grinded-my-gears or made me giggle. Enjoy!

5. Kristen Stewart's inability to recite a line without groaning. 

Seriously though, what's the deal with this? That girl couldn't even say "hello" without having a grunt session. Maybe she was holding in a fart the whole movie? Each and every line she spoke seemed strained. Plain and simple, she over acted. No one has that much turmoil over everything they say. I don't care if they are a pale Arizonian vampire lover.

Maybe she was too high to speak?

4. Traditional Vampire lore is completely ignored.

Vampire's die in the sun. They just do. Zombies die if you shoot them in the head. These are things we cannot change. These are the rules of horror movies. Twilight, who do you think you are trying to change the rules? If you're going to create a movie about "vampires" you can't just ignore the very characteristics that make a vampire a vampire. I can't make a movie about nerds and have them not be pimple covered, classes wearing, horny virgins can I? Vampire's that glow in the sun aren't vampires in the same way that nerds that get laid and have clear skin are no longer nerds! The vampires in Twilight don't really even suck blood either, they seem to just.. eat people. If Jeffery Dahmer bedazzles his skin does that make him a vampire?

Watch out! Your guitar is a vampire!!

3. Once someone tells me they literally want to eat my flesh, I no longer want to be their friend.

The female lead in this role is such a superficial mental case that she doesn't even flinch when the cannibalistic Edward reminds her, with a disturbing snicker, that he wants to EAT HER ALIVE. Without a second thought she accepts this fact like "no big deal!" Perhaps if he would have deleted his myspace account she would have gotten upset? What really blew my mind is that she completely ignores the fact that Edward admits to her that everything about him is made to be a deception. His looks, his smell, his charm, everything she likes about him (because the two minutes of personality she discovered certainly couldn't have anything to do with it) is made that way so that he can lure her in and devour her flesh. Have you ever met a guy or a girl so hot that you ignore the fact that he/she is a complete waste of life? That's one thing, but I don't care how hot someone is, if she wants to eat my internal organs, that's a deal breaker.

Do you want to be friends with these people?

2. Random, wearing a coat but shirtless, rastafarian black guy.

Not only was there a token black guy in this movie, but he was also a rastafarian and had an aversion to shirts. Do Twilight vampires not get cold, or did this guy just not understand that a unzipped coat with no shirt underneath kind of defeats the purpose? Was he Jamaican? If so, why was he in Washington? I guess being that close to the equator isn't good for a vampire.. he'd sparkle to much? Just, put a shirt on. I am all for showcasing all races, colors and creeds but this didn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

Vampires love coats, but shirts? Hell naw.

1. The line "Hold on tight spider monkey."

I feel like this probably doesn't need an explanation, but I'll give you one anyway. When Edward takes his hunny for a joy ride through the trees on his back, he uses this clever little phrase to warn her to keep a tight grip. Who wrote this?! Seriously, completely out of no where, Edward, the morose vampire, suddenly becomes a playful joker, calling his human girlfriend -- who he wants to eat -- a spider monkey. It was a laughable moment among overly serious acting and melodrama. Completely random and completely uncalled for, but she kind of does look like a spider monkey.

Yea, he went there.

This movie wasn't all that bad. I mean it was ridiculous, silly, over acted and poorly paced but it probably had some redeeming qualities. The camera work was ok, it kind of had a unique style of its own, and that volvo he drove was pretty BA, but this is a blog and being fair and balanced is for people who give a crap.

Dan

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Sesame Street. The Muppets.  So much comes to mind when you hear these names. An array of hilarious characters that were with us through our childhood.  Making us laugh, dance, sing and just enjoy life.  It's no secret that adding muppets to anything automatically makes it awesome.  This is evident in the countless CD's they've released consisting of muppets singing normal people songs, or the list of classic stories that have been redone starring them ( A Muppet Christmas Carol!).  But just this once, and I swear to you this will be the only time you will ever be asked to do this, lets NOT consider the muppets in order to appreciate true genius at the core...Sesame Street music.

I was first prompted to listen to Sesame Street music out of context by my good friend, Charlie. He had this documentary on the man behind the music, Mr. Joe Raposo, and one night we sat down and decided to watch it. I was a little skeptical at first as to why we would want to watch a special on Sesame Street music. In my head, they were just silly kid songs that accompanied a number of great muppet skits.  Boy, was I wrong.  This documentary featured multiple clips of Mr. Raposo perfoming these songs himself on piano, and that's when I realized how amazing they actually are. There are two songs that I want to discuss in particular, and I'm sure you know them..."It's Not Easy Bein' Green" and "Sing!"

It's Not Easy Bein' Green

We're all familiar with this reflective masterpiece, sung by none other than the infamous, Kermit the Frog. When listening to a little green frog with a hilariously unique voice, it's kind of hard to look past it and really appreciate the songwriting.  For this reason, it wasn't until I heard a cover by Ray Charles that I was able to finally understand it. First of all, what an amazing melody.  It's hard to hear that song and not walk away humming it. It's short, yet as long as it needs to be. What really captures my attention, though, are the lyrics.  Mr. Raposo wrote this song specifically for Kermit to sing, and it is a very funny subject matter.  But looking at it closely, its message is one that people try to communicate so often...love who you are and don't try to be different. Remember that these songs are written for kids, and it makes me happy to know that Mr. Raposo was able to teach them this lesson without being upfront and preachy about it.  Instead, he used a loveable character (Kermit) to get the message across to those children, and as I've come to realize lately, adults as well.

When green is all there is to be 
It could make you wonder why, 
But why wonder, why wonder? 
I am green and it'll do fine, 
It's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be.

Sing!

This became a sort of anthem for Sesame Street.  They often had a number of different guests perform the song, and on the Joe Raposo documentary, there was a performance in which every sesame street character sang a line or two in his memory. Once again, Mr. Raposo had written an infectiously catchy tune for children to sing along to, as prompted by the lyrics.  There is no doubt that this song went, and may still, go straight to the hearts of all of those who grew up with Sesame Street.  But Joe is not only telling us to sing, he is urging us to be ourselves, regardless of what others may think.

Sing!
Sing a song!
Make it simple,
To last your whole life long.
Don't worry that it's not good enough
For anyone else to hear.
Just sing!
Sing a song!

These well written songs are hard to take seriously when they are featured on a show like Sesame Street, being sung by talking frogs and giant yellow birds.  But I urge you to look behind the visual, and appreciate the audio.  Take some time and look up a few covers to really hear and enjoy them. I think you will find that these songs are some of the most beautifully written pieces of music you will hear. I've included an acoustic cover of "Sing!" that I found on YouTube to get you started.  It is done by a guy with the screenname, danielhassixstrings.

Go ahead and dive back into your childhood.  I think you will find it just as enjoyable now as you did back then.

Noel

Since the beginning of time it has been clear that men in women are vastly different. Not simply because men are innys and women are outys, no, the divide exists on a deeper level. The two genders have consistently displayed that their brains function in vastly different ways. Particularly in the realm of hobbies, interests, and leisure activities. I understand that this is not true in all cases and as with any broad generalization there are exceptions. However, in the modern era there has been one realm in which I have found the largest and widest disparity, and that realm is video games. Already as I type this I can imagine the scoffs of women all over the world, arms crossed, looking on with a mix of confusion, disbelief, and utter hatred as their boyfriends giggle like a school girl in front of a television or computer screen. What I have experienced in my life is that women just don't have the love of video games that men do. In fact in many instances, apathy can quickly turn into hatred, but I would argue that this is the absolute wrong feeling that women should have towards video games, specifically when in a relationship.

I can see the argument that women have against video games. They may think video games distract their boyfriends from spending time with them or that their boyfriends waste their time on video games when they could be doing more constructive things. In a way these can be true (particularly the second one) but not always. Women who try to accept and embrace video games with their boyfriends would quickly find out that many of the they feared about video games, could actually be remedied by them. There is a vastly negative stigma that surrounds video games and the people who play them, and while this is diminishing, it should be let go of all together. Women who join their men in video games, even in small doses, would reap great benefits. Do you want your boyfriend to spend more time with you? Do you want him to relate to and understand you better? Do you want to talk with him more, have more in common and share experiences? All of this can be achieved by putting your prejudices aside and picking up a controller. I understand that relationships are a two way street and that men need to meet women in the middle, but if your boyfriend is already holding your purse while you try on a new dress, embarrassing himself by taking you out dancing, or dropping 50 dollars on a meal for you, he probably deserves a little love back. At this point I'd like to note that I have an amazing girlfriend who, although she does make fun of me occasionally, has always been interested in my life (including video games) and treats me better than I deserve. Her interest in playing video games with me (She had me at Super Nintendo) actually motivated me to write this blog in the first place.

There are other reason to let your boyfriend or significant other play video games as well. Men play video games for many reasons, some of which are: a means of escape, an outlet of emotion, or out of sheer boredom. Personally I like to immerse myself in an imaginary landscape where I have full control and am able to do things that I would never even consider in real life. Video games are a place where men can go to rebel against the emasculating things in their lives. Many of us spend each day struggling through jobs or situations we can't stand, and we simply want a relaxing way to remove ourselves from the stress and anxiety. Do you think that taking this escape away from your man is going to improve your relationship? If your boyfriend is bored or upset, would you rather him be finding other, possibly unsavory, outlets for his feelings? Video games are harmless fun when played in moderation. They improve critical thinking skills, peripheral vision, and allow gamers a safe outlet for their stress and satisfy their need adventure. Of course there are situations where individuals are legitimately addicted to video games, where video games blind them from what they could be achieving in the real world but these problems are separate from what I am talking about. In a fairly stable relationship where both parties are genuinely doing their best, gaming together is just a simple way to build a bridge over a chasm that may be dividing you. I understand the stigma that women attach to gaming, and I've met men who would rather spend time with their PS3 than with their girlfriend, but typically men are just trying to enjoying a hobby they have cultivated all their lives. Ladies, accept your man for who he is and try to find interest in something he loves. The rewards will be great. As for men, you have to treat your women right first. Don't expect her to take part in your interests if you aren't ready to do the same. For those of you (like me) who have girlfriends who respect and care about you already, hold on to them and show them how much you appreciate them everyday.

Dan

Pooping is a part of all of our lives. It's a stinky little skeleton in our closets. It's certainly no secret that everyone poops, but most people do their best to avoid talking or thinking about it. Today, I am going to brave the harsh norms of society and say, loud and proud, that I poop. I'm already regretting beginning this post because my imagination is running wild with thoughts of scenarios of who will be reading this, but please, I beg of you, have an open mind. This post is not meant to be foul, crude, or offensive. I am merely addressing a common bond that we as the human race share. So I ask you for just a moment, suspend your prejudice, become comfortable with yourself and read on as I journey into the world of dookie.

My Relationship with Poop

If pooping and I were in an offical relationship on Facebook, it would most certainly be labeled "complicated." Sure, we've been together for a long time. We've helped each other through some rough spots and had some fun, but frankly as often as I've loved pooping, I've hated it.

It all starts when you're an infant. You're small, fragile and you can barely move on your own, let alone hoist yourself up to the porcelain pony.

So what do you do? You crap in that villainous contraption called a diaper. You might be thinking: "Well Danny, whats wrong with that? You can poop on the go, someone cleans up after you. Pooping as a baby was great!". To this I exclaim, "Bull----!". Pooping as a baby had to be one of the worst times to be part of the pooping population. I'm sure you can see where I am going with this. I mean seriously, you're stuck in your own poop. Your poop is literally strapped to your body. This sounds more like a form of torture than a valid waste management procedure. Not to mention the fact that diaper rash really hurts. Don't believe me? Try wearing a scratchy t-shirt and then jogging a mile and tell me how your nipples feel. Thats basically the same thing as diaper rash.

Arguably these previous negatives could be attributed to the invention and misuse of the diaper not pooping. Fair enough. Let's move forward, out of infancy and into childhood, adolescence and adulthood. At this point you finally have advanced motor functions, you can poop where you please and when you please. Pooping seems pretty natural throughout childhood, like a fat kid on a slip and slide. You spend a minute on the pot, produce turd, and you're done, but somewhere along the line, things get complicated.

Pooping as an Adult

Taking a dump really starts to get troublesome as you get older. Despite the fact that you look forward to pooping because it allows you to get out of work or school for 10 minutes or so, it seems your body, specifically your rectum, has worn down. Poops become more difficult. All of those easy, enjoyable poops you took as a kid start to seem like a fantasy or a dream world. Poop begins to turn on you. Now occasionally you'll have a poo that will leave you with painful discomfort, or one that simply shocks and appalls you with what your body is capable of. You begin to enter the bathroom afraid and unaware of what dangers lurk ahead.

"When the pooping gets tough, the tough name their poop."

An interesting phenomenon occurs as pooping proceeds to become more of a hassle. As consistency (and either definition of this word works here) of your poop diminishes, types of poops begin to pick up nicknames. Let me list some of the more frequent poop "styles" here:

• Pebbles and Bam Bam
• The Green Apple Splatters
• The Squirts
• Snakes on a Plane
• Beer Shits
• The Panzerfaust
• The Runs
• Luqishits
• The Green Mile
• Rocky Road
• A Loaf
• Ect.

Most of these names were carefully developed to accurately define poops that had unpleasant qualities. Consider " The Panzerfaust”, which shoots out like a rocket propelled grenade, or “Pebbles and Bam Bam”, this poop drops out like a handfull of jagged rocks.  As far as I know however, only one name has ever been created for a pleasant poop. This rare but wondrous poop is called “The Magic Poo”. This term was devised to describe a miraculous event that happens only infrequently in a poopers career.

“The Magic Poo”

A “Magic Poo” is considered to have occurred when an individual takes a poo that comes out so smoothly, so effortlessly, and so cleanly that, after wiping they realize that there was no need for the wiping at all. The “Magic Poo” gracefully leaves the body ridding you of waste and leaving no residue behind. Why make such a fuss over one little poo you ask? Because it's a most glorious event! When a man or women goes to the bathroom to drop a log it becomes a game of Russian roulette, except it seems that in pooping the gun has 5 bullets in the chamber instead of one! A “Magic Poo” allows you to avoid the “uncomfortable afterwords” of an unpleasant dump. A “Magic Poo” sends you merrily on your way without any pain, sorrow or dingleberries.

Poo, Meet Me in Death My Friend.

As many of you may know, sometimes when an individual dies from a traumatic event, they release their bowels. Even at death's door we bring with us Mr. Brown, our constant companion.

An Ode To You Poo

Poop, you have relieved and terrified us. Your legacy has created countless dirty jokes, several ingenious devices, a home for the teenage mutant ninja turtles and a whole world of mystery and intrigue for those curious about their excrement. Whether you are loved or hated, you will never be forgotten. From you, we can never escape.

Thank you for reading. If you have any names for poo, good or otherwise, that I have not included here, please by all means make a comment and I will add them. I hope I have not offended or appalled anyone. Poo on brothers and sisters, poo on.

Dan

When we initially created Project Nodajo, our intentions were to combine Johnny and Danny's passion (writing) with mine (music) in a way that would allow for a new experience.  Movies are always accompanied with music, so why couldn't a story also have it's own score? It adds to the overall effect and your connectivity with the story. With that thought in mind, we aimed to combine short stories with little musical scores written specifically for those stories, expressing the tone and mood. Both Johnny and Danny have almost completed their first stories, and I am in the process of writing the music for our first release, which is Danny's story.  We hope to have them, at the very least a sample, up and available for your enjoyment soon.  The progress we've made so far has been great and the first story is coming along extremely well.  We believe that it'll be a unique and entertaining way to enjoy these stories.

With that said, Danny and I began discussing the fact that our blog lays dormant while we work on these stories.  It takes quite a bit of time to write/edit these stories and music. We saw the downtime as a waste of a blog and came to the conclusion that it can and should be used for more than one thing. Being that both Danny and I work in an office all day, we spend a lot of time on Gtalk discussing anything and everything that comes to mind.  We have decided to use that material to fuel Project Nodajo.  It will no longer be a blog designated solely for our creative work.  Though we will still post the songs/stories we write (and this is still our main objective), we will also begin blogging about anything that interests us or sparks an idea/opinion.  Technology, movies, life lessons, personal experiences; they will all be fair game for Project Nodajo.  We've got a lot to say about a number of topics, and we figure we might as well share them with everyone. 

This is the beginning of Project Nodajo revised.  I hope you will all stand by and partake in our conversations with the world.

Noel

I just got done reading a nearly finished draft of Johnny's new story "The Island". Despite that fact that, unlike the film by the same name, it will not include Scarlett Johansson, it's a remarkably well written and exciting piece of fiction. Johnny and I are currently collaborating on revisions of the story and we hope to have it in a final draft very soon. All of our fans (haha) can look forward to this piece in the coming weeks!

To test out the capabilities of our new site, and to introduce our new fans to the man who founded and spearheaded Project Nodajo, I am proud to post an original song by Noel Crespo. It's called Start Your Day and it's honestly one of my favorite songs right now. Enjoy!